Do You Have a Toxic Relationship? What to Watch Out For

What is the definition of a poisonous relationship?

Everything just kind of works in a healthy relationship. Sure, you may argue from time to time or encounter other roadblocks, but you normally make decisions together, discuss any issues freely, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

Relationships that are toxic are a different thing. According to relationship therapist Jor-El Caraballo, you may feel fatigued or sad after spending time with your spouse in a toxic relationship, which may indicate that something has to happen.

Even if you still love your partner, the relationship may no longer be joyful. You always seem to irritate each other or can’t seem to stop arguing over trivial topics for some reason.

You can even fear meeting them, rather than looking forward to it as you did previously.

We’ll go over some of the most common indications of toxicity in a relationship, as well as some advice on what to do if you notice any of these signs in yourself or your partner.

What are the telltale indications of an unhealthy relationship?

What are the telltale indications of an unhealthy relationship?

According to Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of “Joy from Fear,” indicators of toxicity can be subtle or glaring depending on the nature of the connection.

When you’re in a toxic relationship, it can be difficult to recognise the red signs that appear. Regardless, you may detect some of these indications in yourself, your partner, or your relationship.

Lack of assistance

“Healthy relationships are built on a shared desire to see the other thrive in all aspects of life,” adds Caraballo.

When things become toxic, though, every accomplishment becomes a competition.

In other words, the time you spend together is no longer enjoyable. You don’t feel supported or encouraged, and you don’t have faith in them to stand by your side. Instead, you may receive the idea that your wants and interests are unimportant, and that they are solely concerned with what they desire.

Communication that is toxic

Instead of compassion and mutual respect, the majority of your talks are laced with sarcasm or criticism, and fuelled by contempt – a sign of impending divorce.
Source you can trust.

Do you find yourself making snarky remarks to your family or friends? When they’re in another room, you may mock them by repeating what they said.

You might even start ignoring their calls to avoid the inevitable squabbles and antagonism.

Jealousy or envy

While it’s normal to have a little envy now and then, Caraballo argues that it can become a problem if your envy prevents you from thinking positively about your partner’s accomplishments.

Jealousy is the same way. Yes, it’s a completely normal human reaction.

However, if it leads to a culture of distrust and mistrust, it can quickly undermine your partnership.

Controlling one’s actions

Is your lover constantly inquiring about your whereabouts? When you don’t respond to messages right away, they may grow annoyed or irritated, and they may text you repeatedly until you do.

These actions could be the result of jealously or a lack of trust, but they could also indicate a craving for control, both of which can lead to relationship toxicity.

These attempts at control may indicate abuse in some circumstances (more on this later).

Resentment

Holding grudges and allowing them to fester erodes relationships.

“Frustration or anger can pile up over time and widen a minor gulf,” Caraballo says.

Take note of whether you prefer to keep your complaints to yourself since you don’t feel comfortable speaking out when something concerns you. Your relationship may be poisonous if you can’t trust your partner to listen to your worries.

Dishonesty

You’re always making up stories about your whereabouts or who you meet up with, whether it’s to avoid spending time with your spouse or because you’re afraid of how they’ll react if you tell them the truth.

Disrespectful patterns

Being persistently late, nonchalantly “forgetting” events, and other actions that demonstrate a disregard for time, according to Manly, are all red flags.

Keep in mind that some people have a hard time making and keeping appointments, so starting with a discussion about this habit may be beneficial.

If it’s not on purpose, you could notice a difference once you express what’s bothering you.

Negative monetary habits

When you share your finances with a spouse, you almost always have to agree on how you’ll spend or save your money.

However, if one partner chooses to spend money on products that the other does not approve of, it is not inherently toxic.

It can be poisonous, however, if you’ve reached a financial arrangement with one partner and that person frequently breaks that agreement, whether by buying big-ticket products or withdrawing substantial quantities of money.

Constant anxiety

Ordinary life obstacles, such as a family member’s illness or a job loss, can, of course, cause friction in your relationship.

However, being on edge all of the time, even when you aren’t under stress from outside sources, is a sign that something is wrong.

This constant stress can have a negative impact on your physical and emotional health, leaving you feeling miserable, mentally and physically drained, and overall ill.

Ignoring your requirements

According to clinical psychologist Catalina Lawsin, PhD, going along with whatever your partner wants to do, even if it goes against your wishes or comfort level, is a solid symptom of toxicity.

Let’s say they’ve organised a trip to take you out of town for your mother’s birthday.

When they inquired what dates would be most convenient, you said that any day would be acceptable as long as you didn’t miss your mother’s birthday, which is on the 17th.

You don’t want to bring it up since you don’t want a conflict to start. So you say, “Wow!” “I’m ecstatic.”

Relationships that have been lost

To prevent disagreement with your partner or to avoid having to explain what’s going on in your relationship, you’ve stopped spending time with friends and relatives.

Alternatively, you may discover that spending most of your spare time dealing with your partner (or worrying about your relationship) consumes a significant portion of your time.

Self-care is lacking.

In a toxic relationship, you may abandon your typical self-care routines, according to Lawsin.

You might stop doing things you used to enjoy, disregard your health, and give up your leisure time.

This could be because you lack the energy for these pursuits or because your partner disapproves of your independence.

Wishing for a different future

You may decide to stay in the relationship because you recall how much fun you had at first.

Perhaps you believe that if you simply change yourself and your conduct, people will follow suit.

I’m treading water.

You’re afraid that bringing up difficulties would cause a lot of conflict, so you become conflict averse and keep your problems to yourself.

Article source:

https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship#signs-of-toxicity